Positive Reinforcement

I used to think "Super Nanny" was a left-wing bonkazoid with her behavior charts. I am now a believer in this sort of positive reinforcement. My husband has a saying that goes something like: "A behavior that is rewarded is a behavior that will be repeated." My eldest is four years old, and I just recently got him potty-trained. I had tried every trick I could think of. I am ashamed to admit that we even tried punishment. "The New Dare to Discipline" by Dr. James Dobson told me that was a HUGE mistake. He said that parents should NEVER use punishment where potty-training is concerned, for the fact of how far it can set the child back in actually learning to properly potty-train. He also said that it can affect the child's mind as well, causing major repercussions where academia and social skills are concerned. All I have to say is "Oops!" and, "I have tried my hardest to make up for it!" I read further in "Dare to Discipline" about the use of a chart-and-reward system that made good sense. So, I went to our local school supply store and bought a packet of cute little charts and some gold star stickers. I explained to Fidelis that he was a big boy, and needed to wear underwear. I told him we were not going to use pull-ups anymore, and I knew he could go potty every time. I further explained that for every day he didn't have any accidents, he would get to put a sticker on his chart; and then, when he filled up his chart, we would go to the zoo. I am delighted to report complete success. From the very first day, he has worn underwear, and has never had an accident. His chart is now full, and we are planning a trip to the zoo as soon as Daddy is back to being off on weekends. I plan to use charts from now on in order to encourage a desired behavior from my children.

Daily Routines and Listmaking.

It's amazing how much more sane one becomes with a set routine. I have read from several sources recently that daily routines are essential for a child, especially toddlers, and most especially, boys. When my children are older, I plan to fashion printed routines for them as well.I have been in routine limbo for over a month while my husband has been on night shift. But there is light at the end of the tunnel! He should be back on a normal schedule this week! Hooray! In view of that fact, I have printed up my routine in a pretty font with a picture that makes me happy just by looking at it. (You should have things like that scattered through out your home by the way- things that make you smile. Makes life less dreary.) For purposes of inspiring you to create your own routine, here is mine:

Daily Routine

1. Wake up, pray, make the bed.
2. Wash up, makeup, hair, get dressed.
3. Wipe down bathrooms.
4. Empty dishwasher.
5. Wash, dry, fold, & put away one load of laundry.
6. Dress kids, feed them breakfast.
7. What’s for dinner? (clean up as you go)
8. Chore of the day (let children help).
9. Playtime and school!
10. Lunch, then nap/ quiet time.
11. Declutter for 15 minutes.
12. Free/ “working” time.
13. Dinner- then shine your sink!
14. Kids- bathe, brush teeth, story time, prayers, bed.
15. Hot Spots for 2 minutes.
16. Exercise for 20 minutes.
17. Lay out clothes for tomorrow.
18. Shower, brush teeth, pampering, bed!


Maybe I am slightly retarded, but I can function much better when I can see on paper what it is I need to do. I keep running lists of things I need to do, places I need to go, etc. As a mother of three children, I can only remember so much at one time, so it is best that I write things down. I have forgotten so many things because I tried to rely on the strength of my memory- not smart. Most of the time I just write things I need to remember on whatever stray piece of paper happens to be within striking range, but it would be nice to have a pretty notepad to write on (another thing to make you smile). I saw some adorable clipboards with matching paper at Hobby Lobby the other day- just you wait until they have 40% off coupons on their website again!

Fidelis' Birthday Cake

I'm pretty proud of this cake I made for Fidelis' 3rd birthday. It was my third Topsy-turvy cake, and the first one that didn't fall apart. You can see here my Fidelis and my Daddy.


Notice the Route 66 sign...

Cactus, roads, clouds, grass.. I went all out. That is how a Mater Truck cake is done, Mr. Cake Boss!

Identity Issues

Lately I have been having an identity crisis. I often ask myself: "Who are you? Why are you still here? What do you want people to remember you for when you die? I want so badly to make my children into wonderful people, but how can I do that if I don't even know who I am?" I sometimes feel like I get lost in the daily whirl of meals, cleaning and diapers. At times I can't even hear myself think. When you are plunged into a deep depression on top of everything, then other problems on top of even that, you really start to wonder how far The Big Guy is going to push you.
Just when I think life couldn't possibly get any worse, I have one of those "AHA!" moments. Sometimes it comes from something I'm reading or watching, sometimes from a friend, and sometimes even from myself. So after days of soul-searching, here is what I have come up with:
I realize that all I want out of life is to be surrounded by people who care about me, and know that I care about them.
When I am gone, I want people to say that I was friendly, generous, and that my children turned out wonderful.
I am a wife, mother, sister, daughter, granddaughter, niece, aunt and professional whatever-I-want-to-be-this-year.
I am a fierce friend to those that appreciate me, and I am willing to help anyone in need.
I have decided I love my husband, and I will bend over backwards to please him. He takes good care of me, and what we have is worth fighting for. Every day.
Screw the old ghosts and the traitors.
My children are my legacy, they are why I am still here. I am the one who is going to make quite sure they turn out right.
I am going to live every day like it's my last, but I will dream like I'm going to live forever.

I Feel Weird

Have you ever "just had a bad feeling"? The past several days I have had this strange, foreboding sense that something awful is going to happen. It's really starting to affect me physically too. I am tired all the time no matter how much coffee I drink, and my stomach stays in constant knots. I am on the edge of bursting into to tears at any second. Maybe it's the stress of my husband being on night shift, the weird schedule, worrying about him getting enough sleep, etc. I don't know. All I know is I feel weird. What makes me nervous is that I have a very keen sense of knowing (a.k.a. "sixth sense"), that has rarely let me down. Very often I have predicted things that came true. I usually don't tell people when I have one of these "insights", because I don't want them to think I am a freak. I am certainly not saying I believe in fortune telling or any of that evil stuff- I do think perhaps it could be my guardian angel whispering things in my ear. I have never felt this physically drained as a result of a "bad feeling" before though. I am going to go kiss my boys goodnight and then use my baby girl for a teddy bear- maybe a good night's sleep will make me feel better.

Pat Me on the Back!

My Saturday did not start off with a bang. I lazed around all morning watching "Life After People" on the History Channel. My husband somehow got a notion to start cleaning out the garage. He kept coming in the house making remarks like, "You ought to come outside.", "It sure is pretty out.". I just ignored him, because I didn't feel like going out. Plus, my boys were happily playing outside, so I was enjoying a bit of peace inside. Finally, Phillip came in and said something to the effect of, "I've been working all this time. What are you going to do today, just loaf around?" Whatever it was he said, it ticked me off. So I strapped Alice into the stroller, and pushed her into the garage. I had tons of boxes to go through. I had been planning for a long time to have a garage sale. But I thought to myself: "You know, I have been holding onto so much of this stuff thinking I will sell it or I will need it some day. You know what? I most likely won't need it, and I will never take the time to price all of this stuff for a yard sale. So I will go through it, only keep the stuff I know I will need. I will save the big items for the Kid's Mart or the consignment shop. The rest, I will bless someone else with. Even though I would like the money that would come from those things, I will just offer it up as a Lenten penance." I worked from about 1:00 until 6:30, and I went through every box that was mine in the garage. I threw away about two garbage bags full of trash, and I filled 18 bags with things to give away. R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!! Just think of all that crammed into my two-car garage!!! The things I wanted to keep I put in their proper totes or put them away in the house. After a little more work, I will finally be able to park my Jeep in the garage! I feel so liberated without all that junk! Thank you FlyLady for giving me the know-how and encouragement I needed to finally get rid of the clutter!!

What Dreams May Come

I think of myself as a dreamer. Some look down on dreamers because they feel that a dreamer does not have a grip on reality. I beg to differ. I have a fantastic grip on reality, but without my dreams, I would become a cynical hag. I most likely drive people crazy with all my hair brained ideas for business ventures, or a craft I want to make, or home decorating. Sure, I probably won't get to do or make them all, but the excitement of wanting to, and sharing that excitement with someone, is a thing that makes life fun, and, yes, even bearable. I spent the day looking through smocking magazines with a friend. I found probably fifty new things I would like to make. Truth be told, I will be lucky to make one. But it gladdens a woman's heart to dream about making beautiful things with her hands.
Those people I talked about earlier that look down on dreamers, they are usually the type who are addicted to work, always on the go. They have no time to stop and smell the roses and then dream about making curtains that are embroidered with hundreds of bouillon roses of the same color. I will bet any money those same persons will die much younger than a dreamer. Here is my advice: do yourself a favor. Buy a craft book of any kind, look through it, and dream up enough crafts to keep you busy for the next five years. Maybe you won't make them all, but you should make it a point to make at least one.